My attempt at empathy

Ever since Zander went to his dad's for Thanksgiving, he has had a fondness for the word sh**. We have tried everything to get him to stop saying it. By now our basic response has been "Go to your room!".

Amy is going to work early in the morning now, so I am usually at home with the boys helping them get ready for school. As I was getting my own clothes on one morning, I heard Zander loud and clear let his little favorite word slip out while yelling at his brothers. I rushed downstairs prepared to yell at him and send him to his room. But somewhere in my mind I heard the words of the book Amy and I have been reading. "Listen to what they have to say, let them pick a solution and be a part of the conversation". So I calmed myself down and approached Zander.

He looked very solemn, probably because he knew what he had done. I asked him to come upstairs and talk to me. We sat on the couch together, and I asked him "What did you do wrong?"..."I said a bad word" was his response. So I proceeded to ask him why it was a bad word, and help him to understand it hurts peoples feelings. I asked him if he thought it would be a good idea to stop saying it and he said "yes, because then I will be more nice". It was one of the best conversations I've had with Zander. He was looking me in the eyes and smiling and seemed to understand. He ended by saying "I will not say that word anymore" and I felt like it was his decision and not me telling him what to do. I sent him off with a hug and was very proud of myself. I thought 'Wow, this empathy stuff really works. ' As I am busy patting myself on he back, I hear Zander merrily go downstairs to play with his brothers. The first words out of his mouth when he got down there? "Give me that gun...SH&*!!!!!". So what did I say? "GO TO YOUR ROOM!"