The Spirit of Giving!

As a mother, I learn things everyday from my kids. It is Christmas time, a season of giving and a lesson learning experience from Stockton. Every year, Grandma J takes the kids shopping for Toys for Tots. The kids have to save up their money. Niel and I will match the amount they have, and Grandma J will match the amount they bring with them shopping. This year, Stockton had an idea of his own.
Grandma picked him up and they headed to the store. Stockton picked a gift for Toys for Tots, but also decided he wanted to get each member in the family a gift from him. For Niel, he picked a back scratcher. For me, he bought a soap scrunchy. Conner got a police officer set. Megan got a small purple pillow to match her room. Garrett got some spinning top toys. Zander got a set of maracas to replace the ones he had accidently broken. Even the dog got a little chew toy. Stockton was so excited about his gifts. He came home and wrapped each one, placing them under the tree for us all be open on Christmas. Stockton was excited about his presents, but he was more excited to see each of us open the ones he had gotten us. It was a true lesson to me of unselfishness, kindness and the true spirit of giving.

My attempt at empathy

Ever since Zander went to his dad's for Thanksgiving, he has had a fondness for the word sh**. We have tried everything to get him to stop saying it. By now our basic response has been "Go to your room!".

Amy is going to work early in the morning now, so I am usually at home with the boys helping them get ready for school. As I was getting my own clothes on one morning, I heard Zander loud and clear let his little favorite word slip out while yelling at his brothers. I rushed downstairs prepared to yell at him and send him to his room. But somewhere in my mind I heard the words of the book Amy and I have been reading. "Listen to what they have to say, let them pick a solution and be a part of the conversation". So I calmed myself down and approached Zander.

He looked very solemn, probably because he knew what he had done. I asked him to come upstairs and talk to me. We sat on the couch together, and I asked him "What did you do wrong?"..."I said a bad word" was his response. So I proceeded to ask him why it was a bad word, and help him to understand it hurts peoples feelings. I asked him if he thought it would be a good idea to stop saying it and he said "yes, because then I will be more nice". It was one of the best conversations I've had with Zander. He was looking me in the eyes and smiling and seemed to understand. He ended by saying "I will not say that word anymore" and I felt like it was his decision and not me telling him what to do. I sent him off with a hug and was very proud of myself. I thought 'Wow, this empathy stuff really works. ' As I am busy patting myself on he back, I hear Zander merrily go downstairs to play with his brothers. The first words out of his mouth when he got down there? "Give me that gun...SH&*!!!!!". So what did I say? "GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

I want to change my name!

Garrett has quite the imagination at times. A few days ago, we went and saw a movie, "National Treasure 2." The movie was excellent! There was plenty of action. The boys really seemed to enjoy the movie. Treasure hunter Benjamin Franklin Gates (Cage) looks to discover the truth behind the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, by uncovering the mystery within the 18 pages missing from assassin John Wilkes Booth's diary. While Ben is presenting new information about John Wilkes Booth and the 18 pages missing from Booth's diary, one man stands up and presents a missing page of John Wilkes Booth's diary. Thomas Gates, Ben's great-grandfather, is mentioned in the page. It shows that Ben's great-grandfather could have been a person involved with Abraham Lincoln's murder. When doing more research, the conspiracy takes Ben, Abigail, and Riley to Buckingham Palace(which they break into). It takes them to a book in the White House(which they break into also)and they even steal a page from the book. But in order to see more from the book, their choice is either get elected president or kidnap the President of the United States. Which do they choose? It's obvious. The conspiracy then crosses to Mount Rushmore and they even mention the JFK conspiracy. Could Ben clear his family's name? Or will his family be known as the descendant of Abraham Licoln's murderer?

Sounds pretty good! Well, Garrett thought so too. A day after we saw the movie, he came to me and said, "Mom, I was thinking about changing my name." With a slight smile on my face and very intrigued by his request, I said " Oh really! What would you like your name to be?" "Um, I don't know. What about Gates." I got a little chuckle from his response. This was the name of the main character in National Treasure. Garrett was very serious though, so I said "Well, I kinda like the name Garrett. But, if you want me to call you Gates, I will. How about I just call you "G" for short? That can be short for Gates." He just smiled and said, "But Mom, you all ready call me G."

I am still calling him "G", but if he asks, I tell him I am calling him G for Gates. What a goof!

Mr. Responsible!

I found a list of traits for first born children:

First-born Traits

• Natural leader - majority of politicians, directors, and spokespersons are first-borns
• High achiever - sets goals and reaches them
• Picky and precise - pays attention to detail and expects perfection
• Organized and competent
• Punctual
• Likes to be in control and doesn't like surprises
• Can be moody and lack sensitivity
• Can be intimidating and refuse to take no for an answer
• Sometimes they can be a "know-it-all".
• Often bossy and feels that they are right
• Responsible and tries to keep the rules, will misbehave if rejected
• Tries to please others especially adults, may not say "no" or disagree because they don't want to cause problems
• Poor at delegating because they want to make sure it's done right

I would have to say, this describes Conner to a tee! I am also the oldest, and fall into many of these categories. But Conner... oh my! He is the most responsible 10 year old I know. A few days ago, the boys were walking home from the bus stop. On their merry walk back to the house, Garrett tripped on a stupid rock in the middle of the sidewalk and skid across the hard, rough cement. He got a nice blow to the head, leaving a nice blue goose egg on his forehead. The bump swelled up right away, and the pain brought Garrett to tears. He wouldn't even walk. Conner, being the best big brother ever, picked up Garrett. With the help of Stockton, they were able to get him home. This was on a Monday, which meant that Karalee, the sitter, would be picking up Zander from Pre-School, so no adult was home. Without even freaking out or panicking, Conner put Garrett on the couch, got some ice in a plastic bag and onto Garrett's protruding wound, and sat with him until he calmed down. After Conner knew Garrett was all right, he got on the phone and called me at work. "Mom, Garrett fell on the sidewalk and has a large goose ache." .... "Put some ice on it and I will be right home" was my response, as I interrupted him with my sudden anxiety. "I all ready did that mom. He is doing all right." I was in complete shock. What a young man. Sure enough, I came home to Garrett laying on the couch, fairly calm and doing all right.

Then... this morning I got a call from him. Conner and Stockton were headed off to school. They give me a call each morning before heading out. I like to make sure they have all they need for the day (here is my oldest child traits coming out). "Mom, you forgot two very important things this morning. You forgot to leave me and Stockton lunch money, and your forgot to write down what chores we were suppose to do today." Opps! I wish I were just a little more organized in my thoughts..haha! But then Conner said, "Don't worry too much. I all ready made me and Stockton some lunch, so we are ready to go." WOW! I could learn a few things from my own son in being so responsible and picking up the slack on things his mother has forgotten to do. I tell you what, he is going to make a fine father someday!

Spending hard earned points

We have put the kids on a new chore/incentive program. They are able to get many points throughout the day for various things. They get points for simple things like brushing their teeth or using good table manners. They can earn points for doing a kind deed, speaking kind words or helping Zander with his daily routine. Then they get points for doing things like a kitchen chore, daily chore and so on and so forth. Oh, and they can lose points by hitting, maid service (if we have to do their chores), and other behaviors which are not good. At the end of the week, they have to be able to give us points for food and rent, water, garbage and utilities. They can earn more then enough points to pay for room and board, but they have to spend points for anything they want to do. Like having friends over, treats, money, and even eating out.
We went out to Wingers one night for dinner just on a whim. We were all looking at the delicious menu, starting to make some dinner decisions. I explained to the boys, "If something costs $4.00 that would 40 points. If something costs $3.50 that would be 35 points." They got the just of it and began to make their selections. It was interesting to see how they chose to order according to how much they wanted to spend. Conner went from ordering off the adult menu down to the kids menu, explaining the kids portions fill him up enough, plus the drink is included. Stockton was the most interesting one to watch. He had the least points of anyone and has been wanting to save his points to earn money to donate to quarters for Christmas at his school (so thoughtful). He went from ordering a $5.00 meal to $3.50 and was very pleased with himself he had ordered something he really liked, but was more pleased he would be able to donate more quarters to the school charity. Garrett just ordered his usual, Mac and Cheese and I don't think it matter to him how much it cost, Mac and Cheese is always his favorite. Then, because everyone bought their own meals, no one had to share with Zander so he was very happy he got his own meal....haha!!! They all left the restaurant feeling happy with their purchases, whereas if I had just purchased everything, I don't think they would have appreciated dinner as much. As a reward for their great decision making, and my sweet taste buds, dessert was on me!!! It sure was a great night!

We have a new dog

After the disaster that was Blaze I was completely against getting another dog. The older kids had been really wanting a pet. They talked about everything from a cat to a rat to a lizard. One Saturday Amy took the kids to Petsmart. The Adopt a Dog program was there so they looked at a bunch of dogs. They asked about a smaller dog that would be good for kids and was house trained, and there just happened to be one. I got a call from Megan who started excitedly talking about just the right dog...it was a cocker spaniel and was everything they wanted. They begged and begged and promised to take care of it. We were just about to go on our cruise so I told them after the cruise we could take a look at it...but was very skeptical to say the least.
Flash forward to last weekend. We were out doing our family tradition of picking names and then trying to be sneaky as we run through Target buying presents for each other. We were right across from Petsmart so they convinced me to go over and meet the cocker spaniel. We got there and got the news that the dog had just barely been adopted. The kids were very very sad. So we looked around at some of the other dogs. There were a lot of cute puppies there. But nothing that seemed too interesting. So I was ready to get out of the store...relieved that we were not leaving with a dog in tow.
But then we saw him...buried in a cage in the back...a very sad eyed beagle. He caught my eyes immediately, and we opened the cage I was hooked. I really don't know what it was, but there was something about this dog. I couldn't resist him. We took him out of the kennel to take him for a walk, and he just looked really depressed. He didn't wag his tail at all, and he barely wanted to go for a walk. He's just lay down and look sad. This worried us a little bit but for some reason he just tugged at all of our heart strings. He had been raised in a kennel and had not spent much time out of his cage. We thought about it for a little while, and kept looking at him and talking to him. He would lift his head up when Zander came close and wag his tail maybe two times, then go back to his sad pose. finally we decided to do it...
We picked him up on Wed and brought him home. He still seemed depressed but he explored the entire house, sniffing around and perking up little by little. After the tornado that was Blaze this dog seemed incredibly mellow. He didn't jump or run around, just walked around and liked to be next to people.
Slowly he has got used to our house. There is still not an ounce of hyper in him but the tail wags occasionally now. It's almost like he doesn't want to believe he is in a good situation. He gets excited and happy and then decides he might not want to be happy yet. But he is perking up all the time and is extremely cute. He is well behaved and is learning the house training quickly. Everyone enjoys him, even Zander. I think we made a good choice, and will all have fun with him.

The Kiss

Ok, so maybe this blog should be called "Zander's Life!" This kid just does the most interesting things. We have to make sure we document them all.

I had taken the day off from work and was spending it with Zander. We decided it would be fun to met Niel at a park for lunch. It was such a beautiful day. I love the Fall weather, not too hot, not too cold. We were enjoying each other's company. After eating, sliding down the slides, and swinging on the swings, it was time for Niel to head back to work and time for us to get back home. Niel walked us to my car and Zander climbed inside. I was following close behind him, just in case he needed some help. Once I realized he was all set in his car seat, I turned to Niel and gave him a good-bye kiss. It was a fairly simple kiss... you know the kind that is maybe a little longer then a peck, but not too long or graphic. He said "Goodbye babe" and then started heading toward his truck. I then turned my attention to Zander to buckle him in and be on our way. When I leaned in towards Zander he looked at me, then made a slurpy, kissy movement with his lips. Then he stuck his tongue out and again made some more kissing movements. Oh my! My eyes about popped out of their eye sockets. I busted out with laughter. I better be careful about what kind of kissing he sees. Now, I can't kiss Niel without this little picture of Zander's kissing lips in my head! haha!!